A couple of weeks ago, a co-worker of mine came into my work space looking for an argument. The issue at hand was the behavior of a work student of ours. Anyone who interacted with this student with regards to a request had an unfavorable experience with him. It was obvious that he felt the work that you asked him to do was beneath him. He felt as if he was smarter than everyone else so he wouldn't check his work (of course, resulting in errors). He would not show up to work (nor would he call), he simply wanted to surf the net and chat while he was in our Office, etc. His behavior was bizarre and unacceptable for any work study student. I mentioned it to his Supervisor, a close friend of mine and she said that he definitely would not be hired the following year, and that she, too, had noticed how arrogant and irresponsible he was. All was well or so I thought.
"Shaylah", another co-worker of mine felt the need to follow-up with me as to what was going on and what she should do. I gave her a brief summary of what was going on and told her not to worry about it as his Supervisor was going to speak with him and handle the situation. We spoke for a while but then the students entered and we thought it would be best not to have that conversation in front of them. In addition, I thought the conversation was pointless. It was already being addressed and if she wanted to find out exactly how, it would have been in everyone's interest for her to speak to the student's Supervisor. Our cubicles are in open space. It wasn't the time to have that conversation in that place.
Instead, she comes back into my workspace (as if the students aren't in the area) and says that she has identified the issue. The issue in her mind was that the students went on Spring Break.
I don't know why she felt the need to continue this conversation especially when I said it was being taken care of. The issue was not a Spring Break issue. I then bit her bait and explained to her that the project had not been worked on for 2.5-3 weeks. It had nothing to do with Spring Break. She then takes it upon herself to go back and forth with me and then tells me that I shouldn't expect the students to do my work. What work? Work study students and student assistants don't do MY work. They are here to assist us with certain things that are helpful to us but in no way are they shouldering the burden of anyone's job description.
She felt the need to go on and on about this moot topic in front of these students. Not only was it an issue that was already being handled, but it was a conversation that she and I did not need to have. I continued to say, "I will take this up with "Corinna", our Supervisor. Was I going to speak to Corrina? No! I just wanted this possessed person away from me.
She finally got the hint and went to her desk. Now, Shaylah considers herself a people pleaser. She often describes herself as “sweet as pie”. I believe that she is sweet but she is sweet for the sake of pleasing people, not necessarily intrinsically motivated to help others. She more so cares about what others think and wants everyone to be her friend. She is a nice person but for her own reasons.
The issue I have is that I am the only person that she takes her frustrations out on. Like a garbage truck, she picks up frustration on top of frustration and somehow, someway, dumps it all on me. This has happened before and this is why I try to maintain a strict working relationship with her. I feel as if I need to protect myself from her. The baffling thing is that she will extend apologies to everyone else when she has done something questionable except me. It always leaves me feeling hurt.
I have been very cordial to her but I avoid communication if it isn't necessary because I don't see why she feels the need to unload on me. This poses a conflict to me because I am a forgiving, “don’t sweat the small stuff” type of person but I feel as if she is a repeat offender and I don’t want to be her punching bag. (What am I to do??)
I spoke to the student's Supervisor about what happened and she said that she would deal with the student and to let it go with Shaylah. She felt as if Shaylah was having an off day. That day she went to the doctor and the doctor gave her a poor medical report. Yes, I empathize with Shaylah but guess what? We all have our bad days. We all get a bad report from the doctor from time to time. I don't walk around looking for an argument because of what takes place in my day. Do you???
Unfortunately, it's gotten to a point where I feel extremely uncomfortable around Shaylah. I don't know what to do. I can't address the situation as it happened close to a month ago yet we are still working in the same Office.
All, I can do is try my best not to dump my garbage on anyone else's lap. Life happens. It isn't fair to others around you to dump your garbage on them!
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