Thursday, April 28, 2011

IT MATTERS

On Sunday, I asked my sixteen year old sister what she would want to watch ( a show, a game, a movie, etc.). She shrugged her shoulders and said, "It doesn't matter." I said to her, "No, actually it does." My Mom looked over and said, "It really doesn't matter." I decided to table that conversation for when my sister and I were by ourselves. When "Kiki" and I were by ourselves, I asked her if she knew or recognized the importance of saying how she feels? She said yes, but it didn't really matter what we watched on T.V. I decided to share something with her.

You see, when I was younger and anyone would ask me what I wanted to do, what I wanted to eat, what I wanted to watch, etc.....my response was "It doesn't matter. Whatever YOU decide is fine." In my mind, it was insignificant so I always would just go with the flow. One day (at the age of 14), we were out and about and my grandmother asked what I would like to eat. I said, as usual, "It doesn't matter." My grandmother said, "Pooh, it does. You have to have some idea as to what you want to eat. You have to know that you would prefer something over the other. My attitude was it really doesn't matter, then.
The thing is "It doesn't matter" can become problematic. It doesn't matter can quickly turn into "I don't matter."

I always went with the flow or with what others wanted because I didn't want to be an imposition. Subconsciously, I didn't believe that what I said mattered, and I just wanted to stay in the background. Over the years of saying, "It doesn't matter", my voice became softer and softer. I lost my voice. I lost my say. I had been giving up the right for so long that matters that once were trivial, soon became larger matters.

I left my sister with this. IT DOES MATTER. IT MATTERS BECAUSE YOU MATTER. I'm not saying that you can't ever compromise but don't be this silent participant in life. If someone asks you what you want, what you prefer, why wouldn't it matter? You matter. You have a voice. Your opinion counts. What you have to say is valuable. I care because YOU matter.

To all of my sister-friends out there, please realize that YOU MATTER. I want to hear you because you are important. All that you say and do is important. Realize how significant you are.
I hope my beautiful sister does.

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