Being able to say goodbye

A couple of years ago, I dated a very charming young man. In the beginning, things seem to be surreal. Everything was wonderful. We seemed to be really into each other. His family loved me, and I was surprised that I found someone with such wonderful qualities. I must interrupt by stating that time truly reveals a lot. In my case, it revealed who this person truly was. In what seemed like a span of a month, this person changed dramatically, and was nothing like the person I met and was beginning to fall for. Now, did this person really change or did time slowly unravel the facade? I would like to assert here that it is definitely the latter. People can only put up a facade but for so long. They often show you who they are or tell you, in subtle or not-so-subtle ways. When they do so, it is up to you to believe them. When we "broke up", I truly felt broken. I was hurt by the sequence of events that took place, none of which I saw coming. As I look back, I really should not have been that surprised. Signs of who he truly was and what was to come were there all along. For multiple reasons, I ignored them. Why? 1. I tend to see the best in people. Is that a bad quality? Not necessarily but when you ignore what can hurt you, it is to your detriment. 2. I wanted to believe that he was a great guy. I really liked him and wanted to believe in the facade. I was deeply “in like” with the façade. 3. I don't believe at that time, I truly knew my worth. I thought I did at the time, of course, but looking back, I did not.

We agreed to be friends but apparently, he wanted to be more than friends. Are you confused? Well, so was I. He wanted the benefits of being in a relationship but he didn't want to be with me. He didn’t state this (he’s not that crazy) but his actions said it all. I was extremely upset. To me, that was a slap in the face. I know for a fact I never gave him any reason to believe that that would be okay with me. Clearly, he has dated females who don't value who they are. I also was disappointed that I totally missed the mark on who I thought this guy was.

One thing, I've never been truly good at is saying goodbye to people when I need to. I must have grown up a lot during the time that we were together because it was obvious that I could no longer be a part of his life. It was a chapter in my life that would come to an end but I learned a lot from him and the relationship. Although, I don't see a reason for us to speak, I will forever be thankful to him for those lessons.

When someone wants to leave, let them. When someone's actions show you that they don't want to be with you, let them go. It will hurt but trust me, the pain will be temporary. I now know what I am willing to accept and not accept from a man. I know that I don’t need anyone’s approval. I know my value and know that I don’t have to settle for less. I know when to say goodbye. Today, I encourage you to let go of the past or anything that is not contributing to your happiness. One thing you must do is to keep the lessons that you’ve learnt close to you at all times. Be blessed and know that some people are in your life for a reason. Some, for a season, and some, for a lifetime. Know when to say goodbye. Not everyone is supposed to stay in your life even when you want them to be there.

A season

by R. Rowe

Give me this pen so I can speak my mind
I haven’t written in a while. Yes, it’s been some time

A couple of things have taken place from the last we spoke
My life has changed, for the better of course

I’m closer to God. He is the man
I know I am his. I am in the palm of his hands

Remember that abusive situation that I was in?
Yes, the one that seemed it would never end!

It's over and done with, to God be the Glory
I don't even know where to begin with this story

God brought an angel of mine into my life
He replaced joy where there seemed to be strife

This angel enriched my life in many ways
The memories we had, will be with me always

Angel, let’s call him, helped me to enlarge my vision
He supported me in everything. He was there when I needed him

He lifted me up when I was down
He always encouraged me. He didn't like to see me frown.

He opened my eyes to the bigger picture
He highlighted my value and pushed me further

This angel came into my life for a season
He made my world better.
God placed him there for a reason.

Our time expired and I had to bid goodbye
But my appreciation will never die

One day in the future, we may meet again
To this angel, I will call my friend

He served a purpose and now he is gone
Now it’s time for me to move on

The world’s my oyster. I have my wings.
God removed the angel because I was too dependent on him

I have my own wings and God knows it’s my time to soar
Now I know that. I am woman. Hear me ROAR!